Uncategorized – Page 7 – Kristina Hamlett writes to connect, heal, and be a force for change.

My 5

Today, it makes 3 weeks into the #bloglikecrazychallege. I am remembering where I was the night before Thanksgiving last year and I am filled with nothing but gratitude. Pneumonia struck and Hubby was in the hospital. We spent several days there and missed time with our family. Although I despise the origins of the holiday, I treasure time spent with family eating and talking.

Here are some other things I am currently grateful for:

1. Having a place to call home.

2. A healthy family. Even though things could be going better in that department, no one is hospitalized and I am grateful for that.

3. Friends who pray for me, love me and let me know they are still here if I need them.

4. Creative expression. Writing, dance, film, cooking, fashion, painting, sculpting, crafting, music… I need to know it’s in the world. It is a blessing I know it’s in the world and I am humbled to be able to contribute in any small way.

5. My freedom. Some may value it less or try to diminish it but it is my freedom. I am deserving of it and I claim it.

Ready for 2019

Today, I woke up excited for the new year. I know–it’s November and there are still holidays left to celebrate.

I can’t put my finger on why I was jubilant on this particular morning however I know there is so much to look forward to. Here are a few:

1. Going somewhere new. Hubby and I choose a different city/state and hopefully soon, country to go to for our anniversary in lieu of gifts.

2. I am going to a Broadway show in New York again and I am determined to see an Alvin Ailey show there in 2019, too.

3. My digital story, along with the other women who participated in the University of Alabama Digital Storytelling Workshop for Women of Color will have our work published in Liminalities.

4. 2019 will be the year I dance consistently as part of a class. I have never felt as strongly as I do now that I need to have something just for me, something I commit to, just for me.

5. Finishing my novel. I have talked about this at length before. This will be my year. That’s all there is to it.

Your turn:

What are you looking forward to in 2019?

A Brief Look Back

Today is my birthday and I spent it doing some of my favorite things plus taking a brief look back. I walked around with Hubby, spent ample time in a bookstore and ate delicious food. My brief look back was because I did it at my college Alma mater.

I hadn’t been in 12 years. It was surreal to drive by old dorms and regale Jeff with stories of a time gone by. It was strange to see everything new and comforting to see how some things never change. I almost wanted all of my friends to be here with me so we could laugh at all the same memories.

But the loveliest part was it felt like I was properly introducing an old segment of my life, of me to my husband. A place where I started to grow into the woman he married.

Of all of the places we could have chosen to celebrate this new year, I am glad we chose this one.

It warms my whole heart to look into the past without being stuck there.

Halfway

I am at the halfway point of my #bloglikecrazy challenge. Here are three ways it’s already different from last year:

1. It has not been as hard to come up with topics. I am not sure if it’s because I set the intention from Day 1 that I wanted to explore more topics besides writing and plant-based health but it works!

2. While I’m writing, the words flow more freely and I believe it’s because of the consistent practice of blogging in the last year.

3. Because it’s no longer a new challenge, I look forward to not only hitting my goal of completing it but seeing how my focus shifts afterwards.

I am grateful to be halfway and look forward to other takeaways as bloglikecrazy comes to a close.

A Second Job

I was having a conversation with a co-worker today about your house looking exactly the way you want it to.

Neither of us are in that position. We both talked about taking steps to get it and keep it that way including organizers and repairs and adding small things like a house plant.

In the midst of our talk, she stated something profound:

“I don’t want to come home to a second job.”

That was deep for me! I have come home more times than I care to admit to clothes not put away, a cluttered kitchen table or spying something broken that we’ve been “meaning to fix”.

I have given away clothes, books and thrown away broken or dilapidated items we no longer use but I know there is more to be done to reach my minimalism goals.

The older I get the more I realize I want my home to be a reflection of my ideal mental state: tranquil and balanced with an appreciation for beauty.

I have had good days but no days where every room looks, feels and smells the way I want all at the same time.

I don’t know if it’s completely attainable without pretending like it’s an open house every day but I certainly intend to consistently try.

Passing It On

On Sunday, I watched the Michelle Obama interview with Robin Roberts. She is promoting her new book “Becoming” and I couldn’t have been more excited to watch her open up about her life.

I don’t know if this is a hard process for her or if she’s been waiting awhile to get some things off of her chest. I tried to imagine what that would feel like…leaving such a bright spotlight and then easing back in even for a book tour.

And I couldn’t.

My imagination is limited because I lack the “all eyes on me” experience. There was a time in my life when words was all I wanted to represent me and I didn’t share very many of those and definitely not too many pictures. The thought of prying (and judging) eyes horrified me. Writing on this platform obviously changed things as did my decision to join social media two years ago.

The fear I held was due to insecurities, the lack of intimate connection I witnessed with the progression of technology and my all-around comfort with being alone. But experience is a teacher.

It has taught me my story should be shared. That if I don’t, I wilt. If I don’t, the pieces of me affected by psoriasis, plants, marriage, being Haitian-American, reading, family, Christ, doubt, joy, depression, unexplained connection, frustration, curiosity, Blackness…all of it dies with me.

I want it to be very much alive.

I want to pass it to you.

Mushroom Stroganoff (Vegan)

I was feeling pretty tired and then just plain under the weather today (is summer almost here yet?). That was why I was especially happy that Hubby was off and felt like trying a new recipe: Mushroom Stroganoff (Vegan). He found the recipe on onegreenplanet.com.

Here is the recipe:

Ingredients

8 ounces uncooked ribbon noodles
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 yellow onion, chopped
3 tablespoons whole wheat flour, divided
2 cups beefless beef broth or vegetable broth
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon tomato paste
1 1/2 pounds mushrooms (half Portobello and half White Button mushrooms), cut into large 2-inch chunks
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2 teaspoon dried sage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon white wine vinegar
1/4 cup vegan sour cream (optional)
10 turns of fresh ground, black pepper
1/4 cup flat-leaf parsley, minced

Preparation

Cook the noodles per the direction on the package. Under cook them a bit because they will be cooked again once incorporated into the sauce.
Drain and set aside.
In a large saucepan, add the olive oil and sauté the onions for 3 minutes over medium heat.
Add the flour and cook for 30 seconds, stirring constantly.
Gradually add the broth, soy sauce, lemon juice, and tomato paste, while stirring at the same time. Stir until mixture becomes thick and bubbly, about a minute.
Add the mushrooms, thyme, sage, and salt. Stir to combine.
Cook for 5 minutes, stirring frequently until mushrooms have shrunk in size.
Add the vinegar and simmer for 4 more minutes.
Add the noodles, sour cream, 1 tablespoon of flour, black pepper, and parsley and cook on low for an additional 5 minutes.
Garnish with parsley.

Delicious and best of all, happy I didn’t have to cook. The only major change he made was using penne pasta.

Enjoy!

If I Don’t

Someone asked why I write

If I don’t

Write

If there’s no

Pen to paper

Fingers to keys

Then I won’t know

Who I am

I won’t continue to

Figure it out

I won’t remember

Reading Psalms

And singing hymns to him

While he laid on the hospital bed

Draped in a gown.

How I screamed

Into the towel

When the pain of seeing my scars

Spilled out

And had nowhere else to go

Or how the sun beams puncture the shades

And the weight of him pins my legs down

On a Sunday morning and my mind

Is on a loop

“Let this never end.”

When I stepped off the stage and

I didn’t believe

It was over

And I wanted

More talking, More listening

About the written word

When I was surrounded

By Black Women

And we were Supernatural

The freckles on my mother’s face

A solitary kiss on the cheek from my nephew

The ache I have that I am not sure

How to ease

Because I haven’t reached out

If I stop

Writing

If I don’t

Write

Will I forget it all?

Will it unravel?

Unspool?

And I won’t be able to to hold it all together

Anymore.

3 Questions

Do you think you’re exciting?

Do you think you’re interesting?

Do you think you’re original?

Those are the three questions Hubby and I asked each other this morning. I don’t know why we started to ask the questions but that’s the turn the conversation took.

I wouldn’t be married to someone that I didn’t find interesting or exciting at least some of the time. And let’s face it. None of us are a thrill ride every hour or day of our lives.

However, the one thing I believe we all are is original. No one has ever been like us or will ever be exactly like us again in this world. I think the mistake is some of us believe to be an original, you must seem dynamic, enigmatic or possess genius the world has yet to witness.

The truth is all we ever had to be was conceived.

We just had to be.

The rest–the life lead afterwards just broadens the definition of your own originality.

The question we must ask ourselves is how do we broaden the definition? The broadening determines our interest or excitement factor to those we encounter, live our lives with and love.

Your turn:

Have you ever asked your friends/family/partner these questions?

Joy

I was writing a quick bio for a website this week and the woman said she loves the sound of children’s laughter. I agreed and she said it was because of how innocent it is. Of course, she was right. It’s never phony or rehearsed and it comes from a place of pure joy.

Take my 3-year old niece. When she reaches over, grabs my nose and I pretend to shriek, she giggles uncontrollably. The happiness in her eyes and voice–I could experience it every day and never grow tired of it.

Even though the days have long passed since a simple gesture could make me laugh like that, there are many things that bring me joy.

Here are 10:

1. Sleeping on freshly laundered sheets. The warmth and the smell are so comforting!

2. Knowing that my husband kisses me goodbye every morning–whether or not I am conscious enough to remember it.

3. Sharing exciting news with my parents!–I may be in my 30’s but it still makes me feel good that they are proud of me.

4. Writing a piece I am proud of. It’s definitely not all about how it’s received. I love the way it feels to finish and know I left nothing to be desired in my eyes.

5. Watching my sister perform. I have never seen her more confident and radiate more joy (outside of being with her family) than when she is at her studio.

6. Having in-depth conversation with my brother. He was my first best friend and when we have the chance to connect that way, I can’t help but fondly reflect on our early years together.

7. Taking long baths. The next place we move to needs to have a ridiculously huge tub so I can enjoy it more often!

8. Being in the middle of a book that I never want to end. The feeling of not wanting to let the characters go.

9. Being in tune with my spirit during prayer. I can’t always get there but when I do, it’s like I am blooming.

10. Feeling in sync at a dance class! There’s nothing like feeling like you are flowing with the music and letting the struggle go.

Your turn:

What brings you joy?