Those are the three questions Hubby and I asked each other this morning. I don’t know why we started to ask the questions but that’s the turn the conversation took.
I wouldn’t be married to someone that I didn’t find interesting or exciting at least some of the time. And let’s face it. None of us are a thrill ride every hour or day of our lives.
However, the one thing I believe we all are is original. No one has ever been like us or will ever be exactly like us again in this world. I think the mistake is some of us believe to be an original, you must seem dynamic, enigmatic or possess genius the world has yet to witness.
The truth is all we ever had to be was conceived.
We just had to be.
The rest–the life lead afterwards just broadens the definition of your own originality.
The question we must ask ourselves is how do we broaden the definition? The broadening determines our interest or excitement factor to those we encounter, live our lives with and love.
Have you ever asked your friends/family/partner these questions?
When I was at the Summit of Greatness in September, psychotherapist Esther Perel gave advice to a man seeking to repair a romantic relationship: Send her a handwritten note.
Outside of the obvious things anyone should be doing to win someone back, maintain a friendship or romantic relationship, that was one of the best pieces of advice I had ever heard. I was sure I was not the only one because the whole theater was buzzing right after she said it.
It also caused me to think about two things: The last time I received a hand-written note and the last time I sent one. I write extra notes on greeting cards to my mother and father (my husband and I do not exchange gifts/cards..we plan experiences with each other for our birthdays/holidays). Outside of those occasions, everything is typed or texted.
And since then, a co-worker and a good friend from my writing group have given me cards with handwritten notes on it. Even opening them immediately lit me up inside. It also conjured up memories of a small poem my husband wrote me when we were first married and my participation for a short time in moreloveletters.com which encourages people to leave anonymous uplifting letters tucked away in public spaces. The content almost never matters. For me, it is the time taken.
That might as well be the end of this post but I have a bit more to share. Gloomy skies kept me glued to the bed until I had to move this morning. My cough seemed to have gotten worse and my voice kept going in and out. But I took a Claritin and kept it pushing. Since I took it easy on Wednesday, there was no way I was staying home. After work, I immediately did 3 walking videos to make sure I got at least 6,000 steps. While I was walking, it occurred to me that the only thing I had in me was the smoothie my husband made me and water. Now I am thinking I need to be more intentional about eating during the day. This was far from the first time that I have forgotten to eat. I know it’s a combination of the filling green smoothie I drink and my tendency to get caught up at work. I let the hours fly by and before I know it, it’s 6:00 and I need to cook (and let’s be real, order something sometimes). I wrote yesterday that I am looking for the next challenge and being mindful about eating regularly could just be it or at least a part of it.
I have also started to consider that I should be submitting my work several times a week to several publications. That is one thing I can freely admit has suffered because of my laziness. I am not scared to work hard at my day job, making time to keep up with my friends and my family and support my husband. But why this? I know I have been disappointed by rejection from an agent, a fellowship, and unanswered submissions in the past but that was then and this is now. I have stopped and started a couple of articles that I just need to edit and submit. As I am writing this, I am making the decision to do it by the end of this weekend. As we all know, if you never ask, the answer will always be No.