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Leaning In

Time for a wellness update. I am not sure why this one is so hard for me. I was thinking about why some weeks I work so hard to fight for my goals and others make me want to crawl under the covers and not come out for a couple of days. My couple of days was this past week. I found myself doing things I wouldn’t normally doing. I know I am not scared of success, especially if it brings me closer to my health goals so when I do things to sabotage my goals even if it only shows up as a 2 lb weight gain, what does that mean?

It may mean that I am close to a breakthrough which doesn’t happen often. And if it doesn’t happen often, the lack of familiarity makes me freeze up and want to run back to the comfort I know, even if it’s not the healthiest place.

The difference is I recognize it and want to lean into whatever breakthrough is coming, no matter the discomfort or the uncertainty that makes me feel like I am breaking apart and coming together over and over again.

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Progress

In these last few months, I’ve learned how much I need accountability. Not just with my writing. I’ve always known a lack of discipline was a problem for me that bled into a couple areas of my life. I found last year if I took writing class or attended writing groups, I was more likely to–that’s right you guessed it–write!

I wrote last week about accepting the number no matter what it is especially for the purpose of accountability. I am still learning the lesson. This week I lost 2.8 lbs and I noticed I worked out much more frequently and strenuously the last couple of days before I weighed in. I realized I have a fear of not seeing a loss. I think that’s natural but the intensity associated with it leaned towards obsessive. I didn’t know there would be so many things to confront regarding acceptance but there it is.

So that leaves me here, trying to have some perspective on this journey–the length, the ups and downs and the acknowledgement that it took some time to get here so it will take time to get where I want to be and even feel comfortable when I get there.

This week I took my first set of progress pictures. It helped me to appreciate where I’ve been and to get a little more excited about where I’m going.

Here they are:

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Before on the Left and After on the right

So that’s Thursday’s wellness update!

Your turn:

Have you made any strides in your health lately? If so, please comment. I would love to read about your journey!