Liberation

I want to be paid the highest compliment.

She. Is. Free.

I would be, too.

Free to take all my clothes off

On my balcony

In the dark

Brown full flesh kissing night air

Free to fall in

And out of love

As many times as

My big juicy heart pleases

Free to swallow kiwis and mangoes

And cherries

Whole

Remnants dripping

Down my chin

Pulp lingering on lips

Free to

Laugh with eyes closed

And mouth wide open

Free

To get it wrong

And let it go

Someone said

Black women don’t fall down

Someone said

We’ve got to make the time then.

To fall down

Grow silent

Scream until

Throats ache

Cry without hiding tears

That splash and slide onto the chest

Messy with no smooth edges

Nothing gets laid down.

I say

Only then

Would that freedom

Be

True.

Only then

Would that freedom

Be real.

Only then

Would that freedom

Be me.

 

 

 

Getting Free

When I began #bloglikecrazy challenge, one of the things I wanted to explore was paying off debt. Even though my blog mostly explores plant-based health and writing, financial health is something I am sure we can all agree is extremely important. I believe it’s all connected.

I have never considered myself extremely financially savvy but the one thing I did I absolutely do not regret is buy my first home on my own 11 years ago. Sure, there have been times when I wished I could just call a landlord to handle a problem. I can’t deny that but no matter the ups and downs I went through as a single or married woman, no one can take away the fact that I did it on my own.

I can truly take care of myself without a life partner or a parent making those monthly decisions for me or with me.

There is nothing wrong with doing it with anyone else–that is how I live now but I carry the knowledge that when it comes down to it, I don’t have to be afraid of that unknown.

As hubby and I move forward with our lives, we seek to become completely debt-free with the ability to travel and give as we wish. We are trying to be accountable and truthful with ourselves as possible.

I’ve noticed when it comes to money how easy it is to excuse spending outside of the budget, especially on going out to eat. I have been listening to Dave Ramsey on and off for years and used to watch Suze Orman but all of the information is useless if I am not vigilant about implementing it.

So for the remainder of this year (to start), I am challenging myself to stick to a budget. Like down to the penny. I’ve done it before but the intention is different because I am. I will be strictly back on the Total Money Makeover Plan and look forward to being the kind of person who not only shuns excuses about writing and health but about finances, too.

Your turn:

Are you on a specific plan? How have you prepared yourself (and your family) to be financially free?

 

 

Freedom

We have been back from San Diego for four days now.  While I was talking to a friend about the trip yesterday, I found myself romanticizing San Diego. Not that there isn’t anything to romanticize-gorgeous beaches, delectable food, picturesque views and a vibrant arts scene. Plenty of material, right?

However, I believe I was crushing on the freedom of living there if I wanted to. When we were walking hand in hand in Little Italy, hubby peered up at an apartment and said “I could live right there.” As we walked through the harbor afterwards, I started to feel the same way.

As a writer, I know my imagination has a life of its own. It will pack up a suitcase, book a flight and go on its merry way. Even as I am writing this, I know it’s the freedom I crave–freedom to travel as we please, live where we want when we want with the stability we need. Since I am well aware we are not there yet, those romantic notions are put on hold-not forever or even indefinitely but until all of our goals are met.

I know this will take being more with steadfast with my efforts with my writing and wellness goals. When I see the rest of my life, I not only envision this level of freedom but a healthy person exercising it.

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I think San Diego gave me the gift of this vision and an extra incentive to see it fully realized.