Getting Lost in “Big Magic”

I picked “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert back up again. I have a horrible habit, especially with non-fiction, personal development books of reading a quarter of the way or halfway through, sitting it down and diving into another one. It got worse after coming back from Summit of Greatness 2017 with a whole new stack to add to my dysfunction.

Lately,  I have been reading a few pages every morning of Big Magic and there have been several moments where I have been slapping an invisible Elizabeth Gilbert hi-five in my bedroom.

Here are a couple of the gems that caused me to act a fool:

  1. On keeping a day job: “I held on to those sources of income for so long because I never wanted to burden my writing with the responsibility of paying for my life. I knew better than to ask this of my writing, because over the years, I have watched so many other people murder their creativity by demanding that their art pay their bills. I’ve seen artists drive themselves broke and crazy because of this insistence that they are not legitimate creators unless they can exclusively live off their creativity. And when their creativity fails them (meaning: doesn’t pay the rent), they descend into resentment, anxiety, or even bankruptcy. Worst of all, they often quit creating at all.”

That passage was screaming at me earlier this week. It was the exact confirmation I needed that I had made the right choice to leave where I was to provide more for our family. The insight was impactful because I realized I was putting undue pressure on my creativity and to be frank, I am not there yet. I will get there but it will take time. I will work on my craft and my discipline in the meantime.

2. On Permission: “It doesn’t matter in the least. Let people have their opinions. More than that–let people be  in love with their opinions, just as you and I are in love with ours. But never delude yourself into believing that you  require someone else’s blessing (or even their comprehension) in order to make your own creative work. And always remember that people’s judgments about you are none of your business. Lastly, remember what W.C. Fields had to say on this point: “It ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to.”

When I decided to leave my career at Social Services a few years back, I did not encounter a lot of negativity but I did have some hesitation about proclaiming my choice to pursue writing when I shouldn’t have had a moment’s hesitation at all. It was between me and my God, me and my husband and me and my creativity.

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Outside of writing, dancing and a couple of other commitments this weekend, I will devote my time to work on this dysfunction and blissfully get lost in the joy of reading “Big Magic.”

Day 3 of #bloglikecrazy is in the books!

Days Like These

I couldn’t sleep for awhile last night so I migrated back downstairs to see if I could lie down there, in the cold. I can’t sleep with heat while my husband can happily slumber with a heating pad, sweats on and burrowed underneath the comforter. I fell asleep for a few minutes here and there but woke up, rattled by noises I heard. I wasn’t sure if it was a dream but it sounded like I heard faint arguing or whimpering. And since I have neighbors coming from multiple directions, who knows what is was?

I raced up the steps in a stupor and when I settled next to my husband, my heart was racing. I woke him to tell him about what I heard. In the light of day, I am not sure why it mattered. In that moment, I needed to get the words out.

I was finally able to shut my eyes for a couple of hours but when I went to face the day, it felt like a weight was on me. I stayed in bed, read, scrolled the phone, talked to God a little bit, shut my eyes again and then gave up the fight and came downstairs.

The fatigue is physical and maybe a little emotional. I am doing #bloglikecrazy, working on finishing the first draft of my book, thinking about working on finishing the first draft of my book to be truthful, going through a work transition and taking care of regular life and wife stuff.

Even though the day has been pretty unspectacular, I am still grateful for days like these..a chance to recover after a sleepless night, close my eyes, pray and be grateful for tomorrows.

Day 2 of #bloglikecrazy is in the books!

Happy World Vegan Day (and 1st Day of #Bloglikecrazy)!

Happy World Vegan Day and Happy 1st Day of #Bloglikecrazy!

Today, I am celebrating both. Four and 1/2 months ago, my husband and I recommitted to eating a plant-based diet again. I know how beneficial it has been to my skin and my emotional well-being. I love the energy that has been injected back into our relationship and how I hardly get acid reflux anymore. I can only imagine what years of eating this way, especially as we move towards being more whole foods plant-based will do for us.

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Happy World Vegan Day!

And if you don’t already know, I am participating in the #bloglikecrazy challenge as a part of See Jane Write. I will write a blog post every day in the month of November.

30 days. 30 blog posts.

I have already proven I can do 21 days with my 21-Day Water-Workout-Write Challenge that ended in September but I have hopes of new revelations as I write consistently for 30 Days.  I thought about having theme days and the only one that feels right for me at this time is profiling a different plant-based meal each week aka a Meatless Monday post.  Outside of that, I make no promises but to keep coming back each day and hit Publish 30 times!