Today was “Tyrant” from Cowboy Carter. I have heard it many times before. While listening each day for these musings, I try to divorce the part of my mind that is searching for the exact meaning, the story she is trying to tell. I want to feel it and write from there. Today, reading the lyrics had me wondering repeatedly who she was singing about? Herself? A shoot-em-up, heartbreaking supermodel, cowgirl fantasized version of herself who loves ’em and leaves ’em? Is that who she envies or is that fantasy she sometimes longs to be?
These questions made me wonder how often we live in our fantasies. I know I have my moments when even some of these fantasies are reduced to imagining what I could have said differently in an argument or maybe a compliment I could have paid a complete stranger and the smile that may have spread across their face as they thanked me. Of course, my fantasies can be much wilder and almost inconceivable. Maybe it’s best I was not gifted with a voice to sing about those.
I also found myself thinking about how she was envious of the coldness of this tyrant. I am sure many of us would live life differently or perhaps more boldly if we didn’t think about how our actions would affect others. Or if we just lived on a whim or were ruled by our rogue impulses.
It can be a burden to care but also a necessity which begs the question when can we let our inner tyrant out?
Kristina Hamlett writes to connect, heal, and be a force for change. 