I haven’t written anything related to wellness in months. Not since I decided if I wasn’t doing anything about it, there was no need to write about it. I was starting to feel like I was recycling posts and not offering my readers or myself anything new.
Last week I listened to a sermon about what I ask God for. The pastor talked about how some people tend to ask God for small things (and take small action), when we need to go bigger. And he wasn’t just referring to material success, either.
I can (but don’t want to) pray to survive the night or just be thankful to wake up. I want to ask for and declare dreams and health that make me tremor to say out loud, even when I am alone by myself. I opened my mouth and felt the weight of my BIG ask.
Lord, heal me. I am asking for a healthy body that runs races, dances for hours and easily starts with a “1” again, days and nights filled with writing workshops I get to attend and teach, many, many books sold and a bank account so healthy all debt is paid off, endless miles traveled and the ability to give back in ways I cannot currently imagine is a reality.
I was even more specific when I asked big by myself. All of those details belong to me.
However, I will say when the pastor pointed out how we do that, he said something that struck me. He called the small, desperate prayers “sick prayers”, said they had “the flu.” I am one to believe in prayers and action together but since I have recommitted to whole foods again without the pressure of putting so much on a scale these last couple of weeks and I have been reading and researching what a writing workshop that I would teach looks like, I am placing my faith in the big ask.
I am placing my faith with works and I feel very much alive.