Better

Have you ever been grateful when something you hoped for didn’t work out?

I am not completely sure if I am just doing a deep dive for a lesson but when I got an email rejection for a residency recently (wasn’t even a finalist) I was more at peace with it than I expected. It is not as if I wouldn’t have done the work and been proud if I had but I was accepting that maybe it just wasn’t my time. All I wanted to know was how I could strengthen my application for next year and I sent that email asking for an answer.

I realized I want to be better. Better will come with classes, reading, continuing this blog, journaling, and writing fiction and poetry. Better will come when I choose to show up at workshops and conferences.

Yes, I was sad and I let myself have a whole evening to feel it.

But I know one rejection doesn’t mean everything and it means there’s room for other projects to take root and bloom.

And maybe it’s time for me to create these opportunities for myself.