Three listens of “Jolene” today from the Cowboy Carter album. Back to back to back. Even with a title like that, I thought less and less about the woman she was describing and more about the rooted relationship she wouldn’t hesitate to fight for with all of her “Creole Banshee” might. When you pour a decade or two of yourself, your very life force into a bond, there isn’t much you wouldn’t do to protect it. There isn’t much you can say to adequately explain how each of you are rooted in one another. It doesn’t mean there won’t be crushes or the occasional wandering eye (Don’t we all love a shiny bauble from time to time?) but to break it, crumble until it’s dust is another matter altogether.
I love the smooth rides, the hectic days, the humdrum of our life. I can’t imagine a Jolene or a Jamal or whomever or whatever tearing it apart.
But.
We can be our own Jolene, desperately searching for something that we don’t need or another person or so-called adventure to fix what we believe is broken because we haven’t done the internal work to show up as our best self for our partner.
As the song says, I’ma stand by him. But I also going to stand by and up for us.
Kristina Hamlett writes to connect, heal, and be a force for change. 